I always thought that I was too emotionally attached with people, and its true. It has hurt me in the past, it tried to hurt me again, but it did just didn't happen this time. There came a time when I just lost hope. I was looking for a reason to be happy, I was looking for a distraction. Trying to look for a distraction became the biggest mistake I ever made, and I learnt from that. You know what, you really don't need to use the tag (a relationship) to be with someone. You don't even need that tag to specify two people that like each other. I don't know what I feel for you. Yes, I like you, but after that - its undefinable. Love is just a cliche. Its too old and its really gay. I don't know what love is. Im 16 and a half? I DO NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. Im sure you don't as well. I wished for nothing, I felt like nothing, less than actually. I mean, you came into my life in the most random way possible, and changed that. Yeah, playing the guitar turned out to be common. :) You have always been a great advisor. I could count on you whenever I needed someone. You were the shoulder where I could keep my head whenever I wanted. And you made sure it was soft and comfortable. So what if we didn't meet that much? I really thank technology for making it possible to talk to each other and even see each other over the internet. OK. VERY GAY. Sorry. :P Thanking technology and the internet? Seriously? :D
I never intended to like you. You were just my new best friend. It just happened. I mean, you're so nice. You didn't care about anything, you would just talk to me and just hear me out. Sometimes, its like - why cant everyone be like that? Whenever I would be pissed - I would call you. Your voice, your laugh, your smile. Your reply to a text - All of this would just make me smile, make me happy and make me forget everything else. I always liked you for your emotions, I liked you for that clean, true and loving heart of yours. Yes, you are beautiful, but thats just immaterial for me. Yes, this may make you jump and go, DUDE! I AM HOT OK? :P But yeah, I love you for what you are inside, not outside. Okay, maybe a bit. :P I may not be the hottest or cutest guy out there. Im sure I have many imperfections, but I don't let these things change my thinking, what I feel for anyone rather. Im always true, and I always will be. I understand that you think that relationships suck because of your past experiences, and I totally respect that. You should be happy, you converted me into "you". I don't believe in relationships anymore. I just believe in a bond between two friends that surpasses any other feeling. Yeah, Id just love you holding my hair while kissing me. Id love that. Not because I'm a pervert, but because all these things according to me are just simply beautiful. I want to bw able to love you and have you be ok with it. Yeah, I do think like that. The best thing about all this, is that I'm saying what I always wanted to say. And then, Im just the happiest person to have you as a part of my life, as a friend. I cant imagine losing you. So what if any other thing except friendship is not going to happen right now, theres a whole lifetime ahead for both of us. I AM HAPPY THE WAY WE ARE RIGHT NOW. Maybe we may just go down this road sometime or the other, thats totally different and it does not matter right now.
Ive said this to girls before, but Ive never meant it this deeply. I never liked a girl so deeply, so truly. Again, I've said its a cliche - but ill have to end with saying that I really love you. It was unfair of me not to say it, so here - I said it. But again, We remain friends, and thats that, just like you said. :') I hope this makes you feel less awkward and more relaxed, like it always was. Like all our phone calls were, like all our Facebook conversations were, like all our Skype calls and texts were. I just hope everything works out positively. When I'm going to grow old and shit and look back at life, I will never forget what you did for me. NEVER.
Ps - And That's When He Let It All Out
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