Through Deserts And Seas

Its 8:15 in the morning right now. I don't remember the last time I got up this early on a non-school day. Over with 2 exams. I have English tomorrow. Maths and History went really well, shockingly. Yesterday was fun! Amazing Earthquake! Crazy time during tuition. :P A bit of a boring evening. Tried to study English, went off to sleep at 11! Yes, that early. -.- 

And again, these days I've been just thinking about what I really want in life. Someone asked me the other day - "Do you have a girlfriend?" And I was like, you know - not really. And then they were like, "Yaar sabko chahiye hoti hai, shy mat ho." But I wasn't shy at all. I really think I don't want a girlfriend right now. I don't think I can be committed to a relationship right now. Unless something happens in the moment or something like that, no. You may think I'm a jerk, but I feel like having a physical relationship with someone, and thats seems not possible. So I just try to not think about it. And then somehow what my friends told me a year back, totally makes sense now! Relationships are too weird and messy and fucked up at the end of it. Nothing gets serious till college. People are just too fake or just not themselves. They try to portray something when they really aren't that. Im not denying that Ive not acted like that. But it is disastrous in the end. "And thats the thing about people who mean everything they say - They think everyone else does too."

The world has changed drastically, and I don't think its for the good. Now if theres an earthquake, people don't call each other to ask if all is good or even run for protection - They upload their Facebook statuses. Yes, I did that as well, But I really don't know where to draw the line. Maybe because I had nothing to do or maybe because no one was bothered if I was okay or not. I mean, people start talking about it with each other. No one seems to talk to me about it. Maybe thats a reason. But its just complicated. I somehow hate where humans are going. The importance of emotional relationships has just been forgotten. I see kids in 7th grade smoking in the school washrooms, fucking around dating 2 girls at the same and decreasing in height every year. What is happening? On the other side of the world. Randy Blythe stands up for elections of the United States Of America, and his campaign is bashed only because he's one of the worlds best Metal frontmen out there? I mean, how lame can this world be? "Metal makes people do wrong things." Really? Im sure If I would ever think of killing someone one day - Id just listen to my favorite Lamb Of God record and it would make me relax rather than make me more aggressive and angry. People just don't seem to understand the human sentiment anymore. Everyone thinks that what they say is correct and that is the gospel truth. That arrogant nature, that you are below me or I am higher than you - never seems to fade away. Something more like "You're not in my league." I mean, who are you to decide what the position of a person in society is? Just because your parents have good money and you drive an Audi and you're popular in school, doesn't make you higher than others. I mean, its just an example - Im not referring it to anyone. 

And then there are the weird ones. How can you like Watcha Say by Jason Derulo, which is totally copied by Hide And Seek by Imogen Heap more than Hide And Seek by Imogen? So now you listen to music also for entertainment? Its not about the intricacy of the music? What happened to the hard work that these musicians put in? Thats just less than all the computer programmed auto-tune shit? I have so many questions that I want this world to answer. But then again, its what I think. Someone else may think differently, but this is just me. And I'm proud that today, I have my own ideals and thoughts that drive to think in a certain way. Im happy that I have an identity and I'm proud of it. Yes, some unexpected things have happened in the last 2-3 months which I thought would never happen with me, but irrespective of that - Life seems on track. About the world? Don't know. Just got to ignore it I guess. I guess this is the time you make a world by yourself. Yeah? Anyone help me in doing that. Join me please? Id like a broader, but intelligent view. Anyway, now I shall go study English. And I have no idea what I just wrote here.