Nostalgia, Anger, Helplessness.

Sometimes even a smile on a young boys face can make your day. Something so innocent, so pure. Just seeing him laugh on stuff that was so generic and simple. It makes me think again. Childhood. Those were the times. Seriously, looking back. Life was so much simpler. It was so positive and happy and all that good shit. The grass was lush green, the moon was perfectly lit, the sun was beautiful. The smallest things mattered. Nowadays, everything is just taken for granted, isn't it? Friendship, people, love, respect, life. All these terms are just so cliched. I mean, my life is a mess right now. Why cant it be perfect like it was back then? Why cant we all be together again, and just forget about everything else? Now I crave for the days when my mum would sing me lullabies and put me to sleep. I crave for the days my dad used to take me on a drive to just anywhere and we would just sing along to those Madonna and Bee Gees over and over again. I miss having fun conversations with my parents. I miss keeping a birthday part with return presents and the musical chairs and the "khoii bags" as they were called. I miss playing hide and seek and the bornvita milk. Sometimes, I just want all that to come back. I mean back then, who would have imagined that life would be such a bitch? Its just so complex now and you know, theres so many expectations. Its like your breath is being taken away from you every moment. "Where are you going? When will you come back? Call me when you reach there. Why haven't you left yet? Its getting late. Come back now. What did you do? Why did you get late? When you are you going to study? Are you going to sleep now? Why haven't you gone to sleep yet? What time are your tuitions tomorrow?" OK, JUST STOP! ITS ENOUGH! IVE HAD ENOUGH! LET ME BREATHE! Seriously? Im beginning to have a life now, and please let me live it. I know you're concerned about me, but I'm no longer the small kid who would just go in circles around you. I may not know it feels but I'm sure it feels bad. But you also have to understand what Im going through. You need to atleast let me free so that I can spread my wings. Trust me, nothing will happen. I will still be that small child. I will never grow past that. Just give me the chance. I am capable enough. Believe in me, for I believe in you. But I'm sorry, I don't need to depend on you anymore, so just give me my space and my time. PLEASE! I will make you proud, you just need to trust me. Be patient! I know my responsibilities, and I know what I have to achieve myself. Just give me a chance.